


The One Where Jeff Has a Baby

by tntfriday13



Category: Clarence (Cartoon)
Genre: Childhood, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Imagination, M/M, Multi, Sleepovers, Stomach Ache, This was on FF first but I like AO3 a lot, When you eat too much candy and you think something is wrong with you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 17:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13059018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tntfriday13/pseuds/tntfriday13
Summary: Who knew eating too much candy could get you pregnant? Jeff certainly didn't.





	The One Where Jeff Has a Baby

Clarence was having yet another sleepover at his house with his two best friends Sumo and Jeff. The only problem with _this_ sleepover was that he and his guests had absolutely nothing to eat. Well, that wasn’t true. They had vegetables and fruit, which Jeff had no issues with eating, but for Sumo and Clarence, there was  _nothing_ to eat.

“I’m so hungry!” Clarence complained.

Jeff held out a carrot to the shorter boy, “Why don’t you at least _try_ a vegetable. They’re really not that bad. It’s very healthy!”

Sumo and Clarence both let out agonized sighs.

“Vegetables never fill me up though! They don't have the necessary food groups for me!”

“We need _real_ food, Jeff,” Sumo complained.

Jeff rubbed his chin in thought, “Well, I guess we could search around. I highly doubt that Clarence’s mom managed to throw away _everything_.”

Clarence and Sumo’s faces lit up.

Clarence took a superhero stance and, with determination set ablaze in his eyes, proclaimed, “We’ve got a rescue mission, guys! Somewhere in this room is a delicious bag of candy… or pizza poppers... or anything that's not nasty old vegetables! First one to find something edible  _wins_!”

Jeff quietly grumbled that vegetables were, in fact, _quite_ edible, but the game had already started. All 3 children ransacked the kitchen in search for something edible to eat for their tummies. It was a good thing that Clarence’s mom, Mary, was out that night at another one of Denise’s Tupperware parties, or else they may have had an obstacle during their quest for good food.

As it was though, Chad - the babysitter appointed by Mary - was safely tucked away in his room. The big guy probably had the TV volume up really loud and had fallen asleep, so there was no way he would be interfering in the three boys’ search for that which could end their need for something sugary and fattening.

Sumo pulled out anything and everything he could find from the top shelves of the kitchen, while Clarence raided the fridge, and Jeff sorted through the bottom shelves. In no time flat, the kitchen looked as though a tornado had come through. Boxes, cartons, and foods of various kinds (none edible, though) littered the floor.

If it hadn’t been for Clarence’s mom putting the entire family on a diet, this tragedy of cleanliness would have never happened.

 “Guys, I think I found something,” Jeff happily exclaimed.

The two other boys quickly left what they had been doing and ran over to him. The skinny boy was arms-deep into one of the bottom cabinets; he searched around a little bit before dragging out a very large bag of candy.

 “Woah!”

Clarence’s eyes widened and stars formed around the glorious bag of treasure that his friend held in his hands. Truly this was a most beautiful sight to behold.

“Jeff, you found the treasure! You're my hero!”

Clarence gave the skinny boy and big hug while Sumo took the bag out of Jeff’s hands.

“This is one of those bags that has all sorts of different kinds of candy in it!” Sumo stated. While Jeff and Clarence separated from their hug, the bald boy ripped open the bag of candy, sending tiny pieces of the delicious chocolate scattering to the messy floor below.

Clarence and Sumo immediately went to work on eating the floor candy. Jeff, on the other hand, was having none of that filthiness. The square headed boy picked up the forgotten bag of candy and dumped some of the pieces still remaining within into his hand.

“I got an idea!” Clarence said over a mouthful of candy, “Let’s see who can eat the most candy!”

“Yeah!” both Sumo and Jeff replied.

Jeff kept the bag of candy to himself and one-by-one ate all 10 pieces that were left inside. He neatly threw away each wrapper and savored each piece while his friends scarfed down as many candy pieces as possible, as _fast_ as possible.

“Alright. I’ve had enough,” Jeff stated.

Clarence and Sumo looked at him in surprise.

“You can never have enough candy!” Clarence cried out in alarm.

Both he and Sumo scooted over to Jeff with their arms full of candy pieces.

“Is it because you couldn’t find any more candy?” Clarence asked, “Here, you can have some of mine.”

“Mine too,” Sumo agreed.

Jeff put his hand out in front of him as the two boys dumped their candy pieces on the floor in front of him.

“No, no,” he protested, “I’m just full is all.”

“Aw, come on. A few more pieces can't hurt. You want to eat more pieces than the rest of us don’t you?”

Jeff paused. He _did_ like winning. Even though Clarence and Sumo were his friends, it would still make him happy to win something between the three of them. On the other hand, he had never eaten so much candy in one sitting before. If he ate too much, what was going to happen?

Jeff shrugged himself out of his thoughts. He liked winning more than he liked thinking about the consequences that came with winning.

Even if he had to eat _floor_ candy.

The square-headed boy opened his mouth, “Alright. Bring it on!”

Clarence and Sumo cheered him on as he scarfed down as much candy as possible. When he was finished, the sides of his mouth were covered in chocolate and he felt _terrible_.

“Uhhh,” he groaned.

Clarence and Sumo looked at him worriedly.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Clarence asked.

Jeff held his stomach in slight discomfort, “My stomach hurts,” he complained.

Clarence let out a gasp and put his ear on Jeff’s tummy. He listened for a few minutes before Jeff’s stomach started to growl.

“There’s something in there!” the pudgy boy exclaimed and pointed at the offending stomach.

“I don’t think so, Clarence. Sometimes when a person eats too mu—“

Jeff was cut off from his explanation when Sumo excitedly jumped up and down.

“It’s a baby, it’s a baby!” the bald boy happily cried.

Clarence gasped again and his eyes widened as he looked at Jeff’s tummy once more.

“He must have growled at me because he hasn’t gotten to know me yet… Jeff you’re going to be a mommy!”

“What?! No, I—“ Jeff paused. Is this how people got pregnant? By eating too many sweets?! He gently placed his hands on his stomach and felt it move slightly along with another growl.

“We have to get Jeff to bed right away! Pregnant people need lots of rest!”

Sumo nodded rapidly and picked up the surprised Jeff bridal style.

Clarence ran out in front of them, making ambulance noises while Sumo followed him with Jeff in his arms. The poor boy was still shocked that he could possibly be pregnant, so he didn’t complain about being carried in such a way.

Sumo carefully placed the skinny boy onto Clarence’s bed where he just kind of... stared off into space - too in shock at the possibility that he could have a baby inside his stomach to really do anything. The grumbling continued and all eyes were on his stomach. 

“Is there anything we can do for you, Jeff? Get you some food, a drink, a toy to play with while you wait for your baby to get here?”

The thought of food made Jeff feel even sicker and he turned slightly green. He shook his head.

“Hey, wait a minute, who’s the father?” Sumo asked.

Clarence rubbed his chin in thought. He hadn’t thought of that before.

“Well…” he started, “Jeff ate from both of our candy piles, so I think that maybe we’re _both_ the fathers,” Clarence concluded.

Sumo nodded in agreement but then stopped in panic, “Clarence!” he gripped the other’s shoulders, “We’re going to have to find jobs to make money for Jeff and the baby!”

Clarence gasped, putting his hands on his cheeks in surprise, “You’re right! Our baby is going to need baby food and baby clothes!”

“How much time do we have until the baby gets here?” Sumo asked Jeff.

Jeff scrunched his eyes in pain and held his stomach tightly, “I don’t know!” he said, panicked, “Possibly any minute!”

Both Clarence and Sumo yelled in panic, but quickly jumped into action. Clarence headed into the kitchen, while Sumo ran for Chad’s closet.

Once in the kitchen, Clarence searched for a bowl suitable enough for the baby food. He found one he liked lying upside down on the messy floor, and then picked up as many vegetables and fruit he could find, squishing them and dumping the remains into the bowl. He tried to get the stuff as mushy as possible so that it would look like the baby food he had seen so many times at the grocery store, but it really just ended up looking like throw-up. Poor baby, Clarence lamented. His, Sumo's, and Jeff's child would have to eat nasty food like this until he or she was grown-up enough to not need to. At least after Clarence and Sumo got jobs, they could afford to buy real baby food. 

Meanwhile, in another part of Clarence's house (more specifically, in Chad and Mary's room), Sumo raided Chad's closet. Said Chad slept nosily on the bed he shared with Mary, completely ignorant to the fact that one of Clarence's friends had dressed himself in an extremely-too-big-for-him shirt, tie, and pants courtesy of Chad's closet. Sumo tied his tie similar to how he tied his shoes and then quickly left the room to go back to Jeff.

“Ok, Jeff," Sumo panted as he ran to his friend's bedside. "I got really nice clothes on, so there’s no way I’ll get turned down for a job!” 

Clarence ran into the room soon after with his bowel of ‘baby food’ cradled in his hands, “I got the baby food so the baby doesn’t starve!” he hurriedly said.

The two boys quickly jumped in the bed with Jeff, who groaned at the movement.

“I’m too young to have a baby, guys!” Jeff shouted in a panic, pulling the blankets up to hide his face.

Clarence pulled the blankets back down so that they rested on the other boy’s shoulders, “We all are, but it’s too late to go back now,” Clarence stated as he patted the other boy’s head, “We have to deal with our mistakes and take responsibility for them.”

Sumo placed a hand on Jeff’s stomach and smiled, “Yeah. Don’t worry, Jeff. I have 8 younger brothers, so I know how to take care of kids. And, who knows, you might be having 8 kids instead of just one!”

Jeff started to hyperventilate at the very thought of that.

“But how does the baby or… babies get here?” he asked through breaths.

Sumo frowned in thought, “Hmm. I’m not really sure. When I asked my mom, she told me that me and my brothers were brought in by a nurse.”

“My mom told me that I came from a stork.”

Jeff looked at Clarence in confusion, “A stork? How is that even possible?”

Clarence shrugged, “I dunno. I guess we just have to wait here until either a stork or a nurse shows up with our baby.”

The two fathers snuggled up to Jeff and quietly waited.

After a short while, they had all fallen asleep.

 The next morning, Jeff was the first one to wake up. Captured between his two best friends’ arms, he struggled to get up to use the bathroom.

When he came back, he found Sumo and Clarence frantically searching the room.

“Jeff!” they both exclaimed when they saw him.

“Hi, guys,” he calmly greeted.

“Did the baby come?” Sumo asked.

Jeff’s eyes widened and he felt his stomach. He had completely forgotten that he had gotten pregnant last night. He felt a lot better this morning, and his stomach wasn’t moving or talking at all…

“I—I think so,” he weakly responded.

Clarence and Sumo continued to search the room, this time with Jeff frantically helping alongside them.

As Jeff searched around the bed, he noticed a lump from underneath the covers.

“I think I found it!” he stated.

The two other boys ran over to him and jumped on the bed.

“Careful! He’s just a baby!”

More carefully, Sumo and Clarence raised the sheets. Clarence stuck his hand down beneath the covers and searched for whatever was making the lump. In no time flat, his face lit up with a wonderful smile, “I can feel it, guys! He has two arms and legs and his skin is so tough, we won’t have to worry about him getting hurt at all!”

Jeff and Sumo were really excited to see their bundle of joy. Even though he was still nervous about being a parent, Jeff couldn’t help but smile at the thought of finally seeing what caused all the pain he had endured last night. Clarence slowly pulled the baby out from underneath the covers and…

It looked exactly like one of Clarence’s action figures.

“Uh, Clarence? I don’t think that’s the baby,” Jeff stated.

Clarence held the ‘child’ to his chest in defense and looked down at the plastic action figure with adoration written all over his pudgy face.

“Of course he is! Can’t you see that he has your hair, my eyes, and Sumo’s smile?”

Jeff squinted his eyes. No, he couldn’t see that at all. 

“Isn’t that just your Captain Joe doll?” Sumo asked.

“Is it?” Clarence looked down at the figurine, “Oh, yeah, it is.”

“Maybe the nurse didn’t leave the baby in here?” Sumo suggested.

Agreeing, Clarence threw his Captain Joe doll onto his pillow before he, Sumo, and Jeff ran out of the room.

The disaster area that had been the kitchen was actually clean when they got there. Chad stood before them wearing an apron and holding a dishcloth as he washed dishes in the sink.

He smiled at the boys, “You guys sure did make a mess last night. Don’t worry though. I got it all cleaned up before your mom got home!” the large man leaned down to Clarence and whispered in his ear, “I see you guys also got into my stash of candy. Could you please not tell your mother about that? I’m trying to keep it a secret from her during this whole _diet_ thing.”

Clarence smiled and waved his hand, “Oh sure, Chad. I won’t tell mom, but, hey, you haven’t seen a baby around here, have you? Me and Sumo accidentally got Jeff pregnant last night and we don’t know where the stork - or nurse - put the baby.”

Chad looked at the boy with a mix of extreme worry and confusion, “How did you and Sumo get Jeff pregnant?” he asked slowly.

“He ate me and Sumo’s candy and then a baby formed in his tummy. It growled at me and everything!”

“Oh” Chad said, “OOOOH,” he busted out laughing.

He continued to heartedly laugh as he said, “Thank goodness. I thought you boys did something _really_ bad!”

“What do you mean?” Sumo asked.

Chad whipped a tear away from his eye, “I thought that you both…” he paused, “Uh, never mind. Jeff wasn’t pregnant last night, guys. His stomach was making all those noises because he got a stomach ache from eating too much candy.”

Jeff breathed a tremendous sigh of relief before fainting. Sumo caught him just in time before he hit the hard ground.

Chad pointed to the bald kid, “Is that my suit?” he asked.

Sumo shrugged as he maneuvered Jeff in his arms, “Uh, yeah. I had to look nice if I was going to get a job.”

Chad laughed again.

As the three boys headed back to Clarence’s room, the pudgy boy let out a disappointed sigh, “I guess we won’t need baby food or a job yet. I gotta say though, I’m disappointed that we aren’t going to be parents.”

Sumo sighed as well, “Yeah. I was getting used to the idea.”

Clarence smiled down at the skinny boy Sumo carried and nudged Sumo’s arm with his elbow, “You know, Sumo. We could always try again for a baby. I may be having another sleepover with another bag of candy soon. He got a stomach ache this time, but next time...?"

Sumo grinned. He was _definitely_ going to be there for that.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I touched up a few mistakes I had previously made, so I hope it reads a lot better now. If you spot any mistakes, or have any suggestions on how I can improve this story, please feel free to write me! Thank you for reading! :)


End file.
